* my reviews are always very personal, but this one is more ‘personal story’ than it is ‘review’. it’s about my day more than about the band.
The last time I had access to a My Bloody Valentine show, I opted out. The sublime shoegazers made the trip from Ireland, but I couldn’t make the trip down the stairs to catch a cab. I was hungover. Too hungover to get off the couch, much less experience a MBV performance. A recording of Loveless, turned down to 2, would have cracked my skull open, so there was no way I would be able to enjoy the show, even if my body offered forward motion as a possibility. I didn’t even bother selling my ticket. I think I still have it somewhere. A couple months later I moved to Colorado and wrote MBV off as a band that I wasn’t meant to see.
Fast-forward five years and not only is a live show an option again, but the long dormant band silently dropped their first album in over 20 years in February. I have to admit m b v was somewhat of a disappointment to my ears, but I also have to admit I was in the smallest minority by feeling that way. It was a raging success in most circles, with some going as far as to say it surpassed Loveless in terms of depth. Either way, I was just excited to be able to see a band I thought I had missed out on. Little did I know that I would be feeling even worse than I did that day back in 2008.
In all honesty, I don’t think I will remember much about August 19th, 2013. It was my daughter’s birthday and her first day of 6th grade, but we celebrated the day before and I wasn’t able to spend much time with her yesterday. It was a busy day at work, but I don’t recall even one conversation I had. (good thing I use OneNote) I skipped out on happy hour before the show in lieu of coming home to a quiet dinner made up of leftovers. Up until the show, everything is a little hazy. I was numb to the world — a world that had taken something from me (and more importantly from those that I love) and given nothing back in the form of explanation or condolences.
Life can be a real bitch sometimes, but I don’t think I’ve ever experienced something as callous as taking a child before his time. You can’t get away with a whole lot at 17-year-old, most of the adult world is just out of reach, but evidently you are old enough to experience a fatal car accident. That is what happened to someone I care very much about. And that’s the reason the night of August 18th, and the day of August 19th, will always be a blur to me. It’s the reason that I would have given anything to just have had a hangover.
Fortunately for me, MBV might be bad for hangovers, but they are excellent for blocking out bad thoughts. Kevin Shields and his crew managed to build a 90 minute wall of sound so strong that even the worst feelings of anger and loss found themselves kicked to the curbs of Colfax. Most agree that last night’s show, which spanned 25 years of material, wasn’t quite as loud as the last tour, but it was loud enough to make me forget what was happening outside. At certain points (mostly during the Loveless material) I would shut my eyes, and with the earplugs in, I felt like I was shutting out the world. The music was in my head, but also all around me. Strange that something so thick and violent can also be so soothing. Wrapped in that blanket of sound, I was convinced that not everything in life is shit. And that’s the highest compliment I can pay to that loud-ass band from Ireland.
I Only Said
When You Sleep
You Never Should
Cigarette in Your Bed
Come in Alone
Nothing Much to Lose
Who Sees You
To Here Knows When
Feed Me with Your Kiss
You Made Me Realise